1. |
Leukemia
03:55
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Oh I was afraid of changing
Turning into something I was not
Oh I was afraid of losing
Something that I thought may be forgotten
If I could've had
Some kind of patience
I would have been there
And your leukemia
It subsides
When I'm not around
It subsides
When I'm not around
It subsides
When I'm not around
Oh I was afraid of watching
Something that was out of my control
I was unable to let this little
Problem seep into my rigid mind
And if I had gone
Through all that trouble
Would it have mattered
And your leukemia
It subsides
When I'm not around
It subsides
When I'm not around
It subsides
When I'm not around
Oh I was afraid of seeing
A wreckage that I could not outrun but
Dissociating feeling in my brain
Left behind these fears and I noticed that
It subsides when I'm not around
It subsides when I'm not around
It subsides when I'm not around
Oh
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2. |
Unknown Liquid Substance
04:55
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What – what is this seeping substance
Flowing through my brain and body
Is – is this what I had asked for
Should we talk about the findings
Close your eyes now and pray not to have a choice
Close your eyes now and pray not to have a choice
I – I need to know what happens
Inside of me molecularly
I will monitor your actions
And sense them all just as they happen
Close your eyes now and pray not to have a choice
Close your eyes now and pray not to have a choice
You never said that it would be much harder than ever before
You never said that it would be much harder than ever before
You never said that it would be so hard
You never said that it would be so hard
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3. |
Prayer Hands
05:34
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I tried
Inside
To rearrange the patterns that I'd find
I swore
Implored
Myself to find a reason justified
I tried
Inside
To rearrange the patterns that I'd find
I swore
Implored
Myself to find a reason justified
But I can't give you up to the rest
Something in me knows what is best
I can't give you up to the rest
Something in me knows what is best
It was
Not long
Before I realized what I had done
I lost
Out on
A promise to myself and now there's nothing left
But I can't give you up to the rest
Something in me knows what is best
I can't give you up to the rest
Something in me knows what is best
I tried
Inside
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4. |
Surgery
04:22
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I'm taking all of the supplements you want
Administer the anesthesia
Complete the surgery quickly as you can
To function normally is all that I want
Make me to never be unhealthy inside
Make me to never need to have to use my mind
Make me to never need to have to feel a thing
Or raise my serotonin higher than it's been
Make me to dream again and dream that I won't die
Put me to death and dream that I am still alive
I'm taking all of the supplements you want
Just give me all of the anesthesia
Does this image of yourself suit you well
Does this image of yourself suit you well
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5. |
Do Something
05:45
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Help me get outside of me
Please help me to do something
Make me better than I could be
Please help me do anything
What I say not what I mean
I don't think I mean anything
I'll believe what I want to believe
And I think you don't mean a thing
Just please get me to do something
How could I have come to be
Worn so thin indifferently
Still so lackadaisically
Go through all the motioning
But all these motions mean nothing
How could I have come to be
So at ease with normality
Stale inside I'm past my peak
What could be done to fix me
What could I do to fix me
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6. |
Eat Your Heart Out
05:40
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You wanted to be
Relieved of the worry and the trouble
It isn't a dream
You never had anything to count on
Oh
The only thing
That makes me feel anything at all
Is counting through the
Chances that I gave up
Oh
And now that you seem to be
Coming to your senses
You're finding out there's
No one but yourself here
Oh
You wanted to be
You wanted to feel
You wanted to be
You wanted to feel
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7. |
Even If
05:30
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If god had granted me a son
I wouldn't need to believe in anyone else
If god had granted me a son
I wouldn't need to believe in anyone else
If god had given me a son
I wouldn't need to believe in anyone else
If god had given me a son
I wouldn't need to believe in anyone else
'Cause I
I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
If god had given me a run for my money
I'd show him that I could break even
If god had given me what I wanted
I wouldn't have to rely on my state of mind
'Cause I
I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling afraid
Because I
I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
I'm tired of feeling
Afraid
I'm tired of feeling
Afraid
I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
Oh I'm tired
Of feeling
Afraid
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8. |
Lull
05:25
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You wanted to see
You wanted to feel
So take that weary step now
You wanted to see
You wanted to feel so
Take that weary step down
Come down off the ledge now
You wanted to see
And you wanted to feel
So turn to face yourself now
Dry your eyes and calm down
You wanted to see and
You wanted to feel
So take the time to sense how you're
Breathing in and breathe out
You wanted to see
You wanted to feel
So find a way to stillness
Let your mind be as is
You wanted to see
You wanted to feel so
See yourself as you are
Feel the way the world turns
You wanted to see
You wanted to feel
You wanted to see
You wanted to feel
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9. |
Twisting the Knife
05:20
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Twisting the knife
How could it have come to this
All I ever wanted was to
Find a means
To an end
Twisting the knife
What exactly happened here
Sharpening the blade so it will
Cut through straight
Aspirate
Twisting the knife
I deserve to feel like this
I deserve to deconstruct my
Self this way
All again
Twisting the knife
There's nothing that I could take
To heal the troubled mind I've come to
Cultivate
Make it change
'Cause I'm afraid of what you'll do to me
I'm afraid of what you'll do to me
In this surgery
Surgery
Surgery
Surgery
Twisting the knife
How could it have come to this
All I ever wanted was to
Find a means
To an end
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Cherophobiac New York, New York
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